Mad Woman Rambles

I meant to post this last week. 2 posts this week it is then. Enjoy!

“Madame, you have me mistaken,” I huff with indignation ignoring the second gun pointed at me in less than 24 hours. “I am not a common – demon,” I spit as I straighten out my clothes. These portal trips are always so unsettling I think as I pause staring at the gun in question. It’s not just any gun, but a 357 Witcher special with Fae scope and what looks like a hair trigger.  

The wizened old woman holding it smirks but doesn’t lower it. “My apologies, djinn.” I cock my eyebrow up in questioning. The woman nods and I finish pulling myself back together. The Witcher special mimics my every move. I weigh my options as our gazes meet and I have no choice but to lift my hands up in surrender. A normal gun wouldn’t kill me. It would piss me off but I would be able to heal the body I was inhabiting and kill the offending moron who pulled the trigger. However, the Witcher special would leave me floating around looking for another body. They are only given out to hunters within SNOB and hers looks like it was well used.  

“This whole situation seems completely unnecessary. If you would just point me in the direction of the proprietor of this establishment, I will conduct my business and be on my way,” I try to reason with the old bat. The old bat’s smile cracks as it widens and with a cackle lowers the gun. But only slightly.  

“What business would you have with the proprietor of this establishment?” she asked as the wounded cat returns next to her, stalking closer on the counter. He hisses at me and mews at her until she strokes his fluffiness. I hate cats, I think, as I shrink back a little before realizing what I am doing. With a heavy sigh I square my shoulders taking a step forward. 

“I don’t believe that is any of your business unless you are the shopkeeper of… The Krystal Ball.” I challenge after picking up a store flyer that rested on the counter on her right. That didn’t seem to be the correct response as once again the Witcher special is aimed at my face. 

“Have a care, djinn. That is my niece you are looking for. I knew she was in deep when I saw this mess, but I didn’t realize how deep if the likes of you are just popping up in her shop.” The woman replies with a wave of her free hand. Beyond it, the store lay in shambles. Display cases are tipped over, feathers and herbs are strewn about, and crystals lay scattered all over the place. 

“What happened here?” I ask taking in the destruction. What if she was kidnapped or worse, murdered. What am I going to do now?  

“Damn it! She was my only hope.” I pout.  

“This wasn’t your doing?” she asks me.  

“I just arrived. Of course not. I just found out about this place 5 minutes ago. This looks like this was done hours before now. I am a djinn. I have no need for careless destruction.” I retort.  

She hums to herself as she weighs the truth in my words.  

“True. Well, djinn –” 

“Minerva.” 

“What?” she pauses really looking at me.  

“Minerva. That’s my name. Minerva. Please stop calling me djinn. It’s rude.” I explain.  

“Fine, Minerva. You didn’t do this, but you can help me with who did.” 

“How is that?” I ask narrowing my brows suspiciously.  

“We hunt!” she exclaims with a wild gleam in her eyes.  

“Hunt what?” I ask exasperated. This was not what I set out to do today. I wanted to get a mani/pedi, catch a movie and have a delicious dinner. Not hunt go on a hunt with a crazy woman.  

“Vampires.” She says finally holstering her gun. She stalks from behind the counter towards me.  

“Oh no!” I reply backing away from her approaching form. “I stay away from those vile creatures for a reason.” She stops in front of me, her stance strong, arms folded over her chest.  

“If you want to stop running from SNOB and conduct business with my niece, you will.” She demands.  

“Damn it! Frack it all to Hells!” I growl. “How did you know I was running from SNOB.  

She laughs again. “I have been with the bureau before it was mainstream. I know who you are and why you would seek out my niece for help.” I sigh heavily and hang my head down, defeated. “Good, it’s settled then,” she responds triumphally slapping me on my shoulder.  

“My name is Stormi. Stormi Waters, retired SNOB portal enforcer.”